analyticalQ guestbook entries

Your comments are very important. Thank you for signing!

But please tell us where you are and how you found your way here.

Guestbook entries from

To suggest a link, to submit a parody, to submit a poem, please use automated forms.

visitor statistics

Date
Profile
Location

Entry

Dear sir, We submitted many forms asking for link request but we have no receive any reply whether our sites are added or not. Please let me when your are adding our sites. If your want us to add you link to our sites then no problem we will do it. Regards, Vandana

analyticalQ reply: They are automatically displayed in the suggestlink guestbook. But you have not specified your web sites properly.

The default page in "Guestbook" goes to November 2002 and it takes a few steps to get to January 2003.

analyticalQ reply: Thank you for finding these areas for improvement. Without such keen observations, analyticalQ won't be such a user-friendly site. All such e-mails are greatly welcomed.

Dear Anne

The link you gave is okay: http://www.bonjournal.com/volume2/issue2chinese.pdf

However, the one inside your website doesn't work because it's looking for http://www.bonjournal.com/newsletters/issue2chinese.pdf

Also the default page in Newsletter section does not bring up the Chinese article, it brought up Writing as the latest.

Chris Morris brought a suit against the state of Michigan for $1 million.
Morris claims he caught a cold in the rotunda (a large, round room) of the state capitol building. He was there to observe an art exhibition.

An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a party held for a guard who was leaving.

A 10-year-old boy, Philip Garner, sued his landlord for $1 million. Young Garner claimed he suffered great distress after the toilet in his Bronx apartment exploded.

A man riding his bike home from work at night with no lights, only reflectors, was hit by a Jeep after the driver ran a stop sign. The bicyclist sued the bike manufacturer because he was not warned that reflectors might not be enough to prevent an accident. The man was awarded $6 million.

A man on Death Row sued the author of a book that told about the murders he had committed. The convicted killer asked for $60 million in damages, claiming that the book would make it difficult for him to find a job. The
case was eventually thrown out.

A young Ohio resident sued his father for bumping into him with a lawnmower. The 5-year-old boy's case was thrown out.

A West Virginia woman won more than $2 million after she hurt her back opening a pickle jar while at work.

A 27-year-old man was killed while rocking a vending machine that tipped over on him. The man was attempting to steal a drink out of the machine. Relatives in New York are suing for $400,000 in damages.

An Ohio inmate sued the state for not being allowed soap-on-a-rope.

Jefferson Ketcham's family is suing Cobb's Inn and a waiter there, Paul Kane, over Ketcham's death. The family is claiming that Kane was negligent because, after he gave the intoxicated man a ride home, Ketcham tripped,
hit his head, and died. The family says Kane should have walked Ketcham to the door.

Ed O'Rourke of Florida filed a suit against several bars, asserting that they should not have served him alcohol. He is asking for compensation for injuries he suffered when he climbed an electrical transformer in his drunken state and received a 13,000-volt shock.

Erica Bailey, 21, is suing for $1.5 million after the child she was babysitting hit her in the throat. Bailey claimed she could not live a normal life with her new, hoarse voice.

A Canadian man is suing a New York coffee shop after suffering what he calls damage to his manhood. His penis was pinched between the toilet seat and bowl when he reached forward for toilet paper. He is asking for $1
million to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform his marital duties.

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la maison."
"Pencil," in French, is masculine-"le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?"

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or
feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

So, are computers really male or female?

Spoke with James over the weekend. That prompted me to take a look at your Bon Journal. As always, I find the self-deprecating entries the best. The arrogant ones tend to annoy me. I liked the line about a baby's picture too big to fit as wallpaper on your computer. It looked like a "decapitated baby." Very witty.

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 27 January 2003 The joys and pains of writing" at http://analyticalq.com/journal/j030127.htm

Interesting and still listening to the haunting music of " the pianist" (Yes, I have been reading backwards this time)

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 28 January 2003 Music to The Pianist" at http://analyticalq.com/journal/j030128.htm

Yes, checking the music now. Still, I think there should be some movies about guitars and guitar teachers.

This might amuse you.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Hi Anne, Thanks for the email back, here's some answers for you.

1- how you discovered analyticalQ.com (search engine, link, etc)
Search engine, thought you had a great site.

2- something about yourself (profession, location, hobbies, personality, etc)
I was an international tour guide for over 10 years, love the outdoors and love to fly fish in the Sierras N.Cal, that's where I was last weekend with the dog Sierra, I am also 34 years old. -

analyticalQ request: Thanks for submitting your exciting travel story. Would you please let us know 1- how you discovered analyticalQ.com (search engine, link, etc) 2- something about yourself (profession, location, hobbies, personality, etc)

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 14 January 2003 Silly love songs" at http://analyticalq.com/journal/j030114.htm

robert rated this entry yes and commented very sensitive, melancholic.

Sure, we can easily diagram your problem, but always remember that poem...

When you are call on to make up your mind,
but you are bothered by not having any,
You'll find the easiest method by far
is simply by spinning a penny.

No, not so that fate should decided the affair,
while you're sitting there moping,
But while the penny is up in the air,
you'll suddenly know what your hoping!

The hardest part of all this decision making is the "fear factor". It's really, really hard to make the distinction between "fear of change" and actual "preference".

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 21 January 2003 Piecing together the jigsaw puzzle" at http://www.analyticalq.com/journal/j030121.htm

sah rated this entry [yes, no] and commented It's only the 19th. You're writing for the future. Think that you should start a story just like your journal. It can be about art and emotion (and maybe uncertainty and flexibiity), but should be a mystery. Then people will come back every day for sure!

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 18 January 2003 What you do or who you are" at http://www.analyticalq.com/journal/j030118.htm

Robert rated this entry yes and commented You do have the ability to show so much insight in such a limited amount of words. I am afraid you outsmart me!

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 19 January 2003 Out of tune and out of sync" at http://www.analyticalq.com/journal/j030119.htm

robert rated this entry yes! and commented Wow! The list of demands really comes across after reading the story and right you are!

Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 21 January 2003 Piecing together the jigsaw puzzle" at http://www.analyticalq.com/journal/j030121.htm

robert rated this entry yes and commented You're giving away a lot of vital information for those who want to be writers themselves.

This is another Chinese saying: to regret meeting one's love only after marriage (to another man). Your latest journals up to 19 Jan and your e-mail tell what's on your mind these days. The above Chinese saying is also the Chinese title of a Hollywood movie starring Kirk Douglas and Kim Novak: "Strangers We Met." This means such story has happened in the West as well as the East.

According to media, almost all women in the world are afraid of ageing, (they also fear obesity, marriage to the wrong guy, their sons, daughters taking drug, etc), but getting old is the order of nature which nobody can defy. Imagine you remain in your sweet twenties, young and pretty and engergetic, for generations over generations. What would your neighbours say? A witch! A vampire! Actually, like bigfoots or wolf men, they don't exist.

I love this one my brother sent me....

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing
why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss
rather than working hard.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are frequently profoundly inappropriate or
irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die at the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls
to see what's going on.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's equivalent
of the couch potato.

WOOFs: Well Off Older Folks

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive
use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies
from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that
are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching.
The O.J .trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking
the shit out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error message "404 -- Not Found", meaning that the requested
document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food
joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which
you realize that you've just made a very BIG mistake.

Peace rated this entry YES! Keep up the good work! and commented Read it weekly. Really. Royal Albert Hall, Thursday, March 13, 2003. Be there.

analyticalQ reply: Cheap Trick is playing. Is "peace" a member of the band or what?

Dear journal
Regarding "Bon Journal at analyticalQ 10 January 2003 Grace notes" at http://www.analyticalq.com/journal/j030110.htm

robert rated this entry Yes and commented With beauty there is hope... Interesting. If one doesn't feel hope, how could one be perceptive of beauty?

If only you and your sister and brother could all live in the same city. Yes, then your sister could play the piano for you when you have to get out of town for a few days, and in return you could teach piano lessons for her when she needs some days off. And your brother could keep you informed of the latest situation on the stock market.

analyticalQ reply: Ah! But I won't be able to paint for my sister if she decides to go out of town! And Frances says tourists in Hawaii only want to hear Hawaiian music.

Yes, play it again, Anne! Try some (not so loud) ragtime music, top it off with Black & White Rag (the version delightfully arranged/performed by Winifred Atwell), and some Scott Joplin pieces. I'm sure that would be a crowd pleaser for tired and wary travellers looking for something to brighten the moment. By the way, as a show pianist, you could have a "signature" piece, one which you either start the evening with or sign off with. Like "When Will I See You Again" or "Those Were The Days", something like that. How about some Parisian honky tonk, or "Under Paris Skies". I'd really love to hear you play live.

analyticalQ reply: Signature piece - great idea! How about one of my arrangements or compositions?

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while MS. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hub caps.

4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because MS. Carson hadthrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

6. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

7. This year's favourite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV (recreation vehicle) left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

9 January 2003
China