Theme From Q*A*E*D*A (Suicide Is Painless)

Parody by: Robert J. Pagliaro
Original" "Theme From M*A*S*H" by Johnny Mandel

Through two holes in my cave I see visions of the Bush Army
The pains I caused humanity I'll never let them capture me . . .
Cause suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.

I try to make the great escape wish this country had a cape
Without no water-present here it's now I know that it’s too late, and .
. .
Cause suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.

Too many wives did marry me I think I must have more than three
Polyg'my's hard I have to say and they were ugly anyway.
So suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.

I walk the country in bare feet a sheet and towel to beat the heat
And stay alive without defeat but now it's Allah I must meet
Cause suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.

The men in green are closing in hey where the hell's the Talibin
Probably out in Pakistan and still my beard grows longer . . . needs a
trim, but . . .
So suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.

A last wish one request from me to end my life for all to see
My eldest son will shoot at me and show it live on Fox-TV
Cause suicide is painless and soon I will be faceless
And some will wonder if I really died.
And you can always watch it on the news.