Bon Journal

Updating the past

It is so late. I am so behind. It's become a mountain of a task to update my Bon Journal.

How did I allow myself to get this way?

I've been so busy lately, living in the real, physical world that I've allowed myself to suspend my cyberspace existence indefinitely.

Ever since the sun began to show its face and the daffodils responded with their flowering, I've been distracted. Months of hibernation and slumber in the grey, cold, windy, rainy winter of England have made me weary. In the cosiness and stillness of indoor living, it's easy to become complacent.

Will the sun stay? Will the warmth last?

And then I got myself into a stable routine of working out four mornings a week at the local health club, having a cheap two-course lunch at the local Chinese restaurant, attending free lunch-time concerts, practising piano in the afternoons, taking Landmark Forum evening seminars once a week, teaching statistics, and teaching piano. There has been no time for updating my web site.

Out of the blue, I get an e-mail asking me what I want for my birthday. I can think of all the intangibles: updating and completing my past so that I can move on. Stop dwelling and living in the past, so that I can embrace the future. Now just exactly how do I live for the future if I'm still living in the past?

6 April 2003 Sunday