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Journal Entries

Bon Journal

Variations on a theme

While writing Diary of Anne Ku and Bon Journal has been therapeutic, it's' not necessarily transparent to the outside world. The chronological arrangement allows me to track my progress. I can see that I'm no longer rushing around like a headless chicken, trying to catch the next flight. Compared to a year ago, I'm a lot more at peace.

Recently I decided to categorise my diary and journal entries, by subject themes. It's a boring and tedious process. And lo and behold, what do I find?

I write a lot about music, about playing and composing. Music is after all a very important part of my life. It's one of the things that's been continuous since my childhood.

I complain a lot. It's not a perfect world. My phone breaks down. My computer doesn't work. I get poor customer service. I'm sure everybody has experienced such things. But who else analyses and agonizes the way I do?

I write about writing. I write about work. I write about the stress of working. But now that I'm not working, I continue to write. Should work be defined as income-producing activity? I'm not so sure. I feel like I'm working when I'm doing something with a purpose.

I write about being single as well as being in all sorts of relationships: friendship, partnership, family, and reunions. We are social beings. No man is an island. And no woman either, for that matter. I can finally say that I don't mind being alone. In fact, I quite enjoy indulging in being by myself. I could hardly say that ten years ago. Back then, I was in the solitary confinement of doing my PhD. Perhaps I've trained myself to accept the silence and solitude of being alone.

But I love being with people too. I write about organising and preparing concerts. I write reviews about parties and other fun events.

Finally, I write about travel and travelling. As one of my readers wrote, "if you ever lose your job, you can always write about travelling on a shoestring." True, I can. But when you're not travelling, what do you write about?

I surprise myself what I can write about. I revisit old themes, but I try not to repeat. It may be a variation on an old theme, but like an old flame, it's never the same.

20 September 2002 Friday

Bon Journal by subject themes
Diary of Anne Ku by subject themes
Variations on a theme - diary entry 14 Nov 2000
Variations on a theme - value at risk
May/June 2001 issue
There have been many famous variations in music:
Elgar's Enigma Variations
Rachmaninoff's 18th Variation on a Theme of Paganini
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