The Diary
of
Anne Ku

13 April 2001 Friday

ANTICIPATION

The older I get, the more I think reality is perception. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's all about expectations.

I have been preparing hard for this long bank holiday weekend. It was not going to be wasted on work and chores. It was to be savoured like a nice gourmet meal.

All time would stop so that I could capture the moment. Until then, I must get all the work out of the way so that I won't feel the guilt and anxiety of having to finish it. I must not let my work weigh my mind.

I have recorded my answering machine to say that I'm out of commission. I have told my colleagues that I shall be out of sight and out of touch.

I can't help having expectations, even though my sister was very right in saying that if I expect nothing, I will get everything. I can't help planning every hour of the day. I don't want to waste a single minute of it. All this anticipation to this four day weekend - extended by one day to a five day holiday of being in the UK physically but somewhere else mentally. Yes, I know I will lament on this afterwards.

Yesterday

Tomorrow