Bon Journal

The intimacy of cyberspace encounters

Communication in cyberspace filters out the multi-dimensionality of noise, personality, and other nuances to the message.

The message is as you type it and as you read it.

The faster you type, the more you say. The more frequently you press the <send> or <return> key, the more you communicate.

In the absence of eye contact, body language, and other aspects of face to face communication, what is delivered via this electronic medium is the pure message intended.

In cyberspace, you feel safe to disclose yourself because of the physical distance in space and time. Without the influence of the physical world, it is easy to disarm yourself and vice versa --- ask personal questions and be more direct than if you were doing this outside of cyberspace.

There is an illusion of freedom to express yourself. And very quickly you can get to intimacy, or rather, the illusion of knowing someone intimately.

Illusions they are, for when you meet the person face to face, you digest the facial expression, the body language, the vocal variation, and all that make the person. The expectations you had unknowingly built up from your electronic dialogue turn into either positive surprise or disappointment.

More often than not, it will be a disappointment. The person will not look like the photo you were sent. You might be irritated by his voice. You might find certain behaviour disconcerting or even annoying.

Of course, none of this matters if it's a business or platonic contact. It is only a disappointment if you anticipate a romantic eventuality or fantasize beyond what is there.

What feels intimate could be that you've fallen in love with the words, or the beautiful way in which they were put together. Or the places described, such as in travel stories. Or the aesthetic manner in which you both share your passions such as music or food. By some error of the subconscious, you project this feeling of love onto the person who crafted the words.

But it's not the person you've become intimate with --- it's the product of the person. Cyberspace encounters can be dangerous because of this confusion!

28 November 2003 Friday

Links to psychology of cybercommunities by Storm King

Psychology of cyberspace by John Suler

Life online by Olivia Dong