Reaction from readers
Feb 10 the hungry poet from Malaysia writes about serial commitments and hindsight bias.
Fear of commitment
Fear of commitment is really about fear of rejection.
If you don't commit, you don't feel committed.
If you don't feel committed, then you can't get rejected.
Even if you get rejected, you won't feel rejected.
Is that why it's so easy to say yes until it really matters?
Is that why it's easier to have many superficial relationships than one serious, committed relationship? It's like putting all your eggs in one basket, or worse, having just one egg.
If it doesn't hatch, then you feel truly rejected.
Or is fear of commitment actually about fear of regret?
The song "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along" says it perfectly. What if someone better comes along? How will you really know?
The answer is faith. You believe it, and you trust your own judgement.
Those of us who are still afraid to commit, we just have to learn to commit to ourselves first. Until we do that, we will never truly commit to others.
4 February 2002 Monday