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Bon Journal

Modern day soliloquy

Have you ever been in a situation, overpowered and overwhelmed by someone who couldn't stop talking about himself or herself?

You can't butt a word in.

After awhile, you stop trying.

It's as if the person doesn't care whether you react or not. It's as if the person is giving a monologue on stage, and the audience is out there, in pitch darkness.

My brother cannot stand it when I talk about myself. I have so many stories to tell that I can't help it. Perhaps he's heard all my stories. Perhaps he doesn't like the sound of my voice.

Or maybe, for once, I should think that the world does not revolve around me.

A good conversationalist is not one who can talk forever about himself, but one who allows others to talk. An even better conversationalist is one who can engage all to talk equally long (in total) but equally frequently.

Four people should get 25% of the air space, but often it's more like 60%, 25%, 10%, and 5%. And when it gets to 90%, 6%, 3%, 1% - it becomes a classroom.

If not for my web site, everything I have to say will have to be uttered. The web site allows me to stop talking about myself in public and learn to become a better conversationalist.

My goal is to say nothing and yet fool the other person to think that I was a good conversationalist. This would not happen if the other person is a soliloquist.

And for everyone out there who has this habit of dominating conversations, may I suggest that you build your own web site?

What's worse than talking about yourself? repeating yourself. Or worse, if others hear you repeat yourself. Or worst of all, being told that you talk about yourself too much and that you repeat yourself.

12 July 2001

A dramatic or literary form of discourse in which a character talks to himself or herself or reveals his or her thoughts without addressing a listener. A specific speech or piece of writing in this form of discourse. The act of speaking to oneself.