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Bon Journal

Back to the future

Barely two days of quality with my dear brother are gone. He sees me off at the station, and we return to our own lives. There was a time when we were so young and so close. I bought different college T-shirts to inspire him to look forward to going to college. But today, he is the one lecturing me about life.

"The only way you can let go of your past is to start a family of your own," he said. His clients are all retired and in their seventies. What differentiates between the happy and the unhappy ones is family. It's not good enough to join a singles club.

With this in mind, I think about all the single friends I have. Black Tuesday has made us realise how alone we all are. Who would report us missing if we had been in the twin towers? Maybe we won't even be missed!

A train ride and a few hours later, I am lying on the grass in Central Park with two friends from high school - one I see every time I visit New York, the other I haven't seen for 19 years. How has Black Tuesday affected them?

"What is there to lose?" reacted one friend. "I should just go for it."

The other has decided that it's not worth looking for a husband. The important thing is to have a baby. Time has become more precious and more critical. There is no time to lose.

Meanwhile, I have the opposite reaction. "Does anything matter anymore?" Everything I do seems so trivial now. Even maintaining this web site for the world to see. What is the point of worrying about anything when we may disappear in a flash?

16 September 2001 Sunday