Bon Journal

Growing old

There comes a time when you're suddenly aware that your parents are growing old. Every time you see them, they appear older than before. And each time, they have more health problems.

I worry about them, but I also feel helpless. While I can surf on the Internet to find out more about their condition or get a second medical opinion, there is little I can do other than to listen and comfort them.

The other thing I notice is how their behaviour change with greater constraints. With limited income (savings, retirement, etc.), they conserve more and spend less. Every spending decision is carefully thought through.

Despite facing greater financial and physical constraints, they seem to have more time and attention to give. This negative correlation happens earlier on: when you're young and busy making money, you have little free time and attention. The optimal point is when you have all three: time, money, and health.

My mother once said,"As long as your mother is alive, you will still feel young." She feels young when she misses her mother. I feel young when I'm in her company. Maybe what she said is true.

When I was younger, I vowed that I would never grow old, or rather that I'd never be old. That is, I'd die before I get there. But now that I'm of an age I considered old when I was young, I wonder when I'd truly feel old? When I'm with younger people? Or when I feel increasingly constrained?

20 September 2003 Saturday

A primer on aging