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Bon Journal

Dark moods

After the excitement of yesterday (a 4.5 hour cycle ride to Richmond, the summer solstice concert, and going to bed late), I lost all energy to express myself. I fell into a deep dark hole.

The human body needs to rest. I'm too tired to think straight. I'm too tired to express myself.

It's easy to free fall into nothingness. In this state, nothing is good. I see the world through dark glasses. Even the sun is clouded.

It's not that I'm mad at anyone. Perhaps I just need to be left alone to rest. Too much excitement does it.

It's not depression. Just lack of energy.

It's not melancholy. Just lack of emotion.

In this state, it's hard to imagine doing anything. Yet I made the mistake of going out cycling in unfamiliar territory, where a lot of decisions had to be made. Decision making is stressful - it requires energy. I have none.

But like the weather, dark moods pass. Like clouds that disperse, my hunger left me after a snack. I perked up once more, to ride the remaining haul.

25 June 2001

The Grand Union Canal eventually leads to Little Venice and Regent's Park
The black hole syndrome