Some years ago, I caught up with a good friend who told me his reasons for wanting to settle down.
As a bachelor, he enjoyed dating as well as getting involved in relationships. However, each relationship came at a cost.
The cost of emotional hangover.
It takes awhile to sober up, you see.
One way to deal with hangovers is to get drunk before you are totally sober.
So he rebounded into another relationship without being totally aware of his feelings. He used the next relationship to recover from the previous.
The more relationships he had, the more confusing it became. The leftover feelings got mixed up in the new relationship. This went on - until he saw a pattern - and became tired of it.
Another bachelor friend told me at the age of 34 that he had to decide whether to get married or not. I asked, have you found someone? He said no. "But if I decide to get married, then I will look for the person."
How long do you have to sober up before you are "ready"? How do you know if you're ready? What if the right person comes along when you're waiting to sober up?
14 June 2001